I just got done reading a blog post by one of my friends... this friend tells a story about a time she goes to dinner with family and a woman so rudely decides to indirectly complain out loud about the problem she had with my friend's childrens' behavior. Comments such as "I am glad my kids don't act like that."
As a parent I also have encountered such behavior from people. Most of the time it appears the people who have issues with my children don't have children themselves so they are easier to blow off. However it can sting either way especially if you are having a rough day and their comments seem to confirm your thoughts that you are an "awful parent."
My problems with peoples rude looks and comments started when Avery was 3. At that age Avery started throwing tantrums and not listening. For one I was caught off guard because problems like this were rare before he was 3. Also at the time Andrew was also in the hospital still... could have been part of the reason he was acting up. When I was out with him most the time he still behaved.... he would not be throwing tantrums for the candy bar at the store or anything like that. But at times he would have a meltdown and I am not even sure I remember what for... but it would play out like a normal 3-year-old's tantrum and it would get Miles (who was 1 1/2) crying and me stressed out on top of already being stressed. Sometimes it took everything I had not to start crying too.
The biggest problem was that Avery is big for his age. Since he was 3 he has been in the 90th - 95th %ile for wight and weight. I will never forget one time I was at the playground and Avery started having a normal 3-year-old tantrum and I was having a hard time juggling his tantrum and Miles wanting to get down to play. I overhear a woman saying to her friend "Oh man if my 5-year-old acted that way...." Her comment gave me enough adrenaline to pick up Avery and Miles both and rush them to the car.... as I passed her I said "He is 3, so shut up!"
I was finding my self telling people he was 3 from that point on... I was tired of the looks. Especially the "Look at the 5-year-old in diapers!" look. I started getting used to the fact they thought I was letting my kid 'act younger' when he was really age appropriate.
I think he was getting me ready for the looks I get now from people for Miles. The don't bug me as much as they could. I mean now my life is a bit less stressful too. As I have posted before Miles does not talk... sometimes he can be loud though when excited and he starts jumping... I think with Miles though people are not sure... they judge and most people just assume and say nothing but I still see the looks.
I have just decided people have no idea how my day as gone... how I have had a hard day with the kids or a good day until just that moment... they don't know. Sometimes it is not easy but I try to brush it off.
Oh and P.S. to the people in the ladies locker-room at the rec center... my son is 3.... so get over the fact that he is in the locker room with me. He is well behaved and not messing with you.
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