My sweet little Miles

Usually we go to our local recreation center twice a week (Tuesday and Thursday) and this busy week we could only go one time and we changed it to Wednesday (last night.).  We drop the kids off at in childcare to work out and then pick them up again to go swimming.  

Last night since we went on Wednesday the childcare person was someone we had not seen in a long time. She explained she only works one night a week and she was happy to see the boys and could not get over how big Miles has gotten.

When we got back to pick up the kids the woman stopped me and asked what we do for Miles, how we communicate to him? "We talk to him" I said... oh no here we go!!!  

"Does he understand you?" she asks, "I mean I couldn't tell if he understands."

"Yes he does.... (and I gave example of how I know he does.)"  

"Does he say anything?"  

"Yes, but either very quiet or not understandable, or just sometimes."

"Does he tell you when he needs to go to the bathroom?" 

(Huh?) "Well he has been working on it" (he must have had his hands in his pants... little boys!)

"Have they said it anything.... like have they tested him for... (here it comes)... Autism?"

"It has been suggested, but no I have not gotten him tested."

"Oh ok, well he is the sweetest little guy"

"Yes he is." (can I go now?)

**sigh***

Ok so sure,  I sometimes wonder why my sweet little guy can not or chooses not to talk.  His communication skills in the non-verbal aspect have improved a lot and tantrums due to lack of communication are few.  Not to be confused with the fact he has normal 3-year-old tantrums.  

And I am not saying he does not have Autism... I don't really know... and I am not in denial but I don't think he does.  I am also not saying he does not have a communication disorder... I mean I learned about these types of things in my college studies... I am not claiming to be an expert on them either.  I am just saying that people often ignore all the other possibilities and go straight to Autism.  They also ignore the fact that Miles had gone through a lot of family trauma when his dad was in the hospital, I brought that up to his therapists many times and felt they just blew that off.


I, like many others want to know why Miles does not talk, and I understand the importance of labeling disorders so that people can get the proper care.  I understand that Autism is a spectrum disorder and therefore more people fit under the diagnosis... but that is it many people do.   

One of the most frustrating things when Miles was in therapy was they did not see what I saw... I guess sometimes my blind eye as a mother was not seeing what they saw either.  But when I would tell them about progress they would give me looks like they did not believe Miles could do those things based on what they thought he diagnosis should be.

So the main thing is Miles does not talk and has a delay in non-verbal communication, meaning it is there but not as skilled.

The next thing they are concerned about is the fact that he mouths toys that are kind of rubbery.  Uh... as I type Avery is chewing on Miles' chewy tube ( a thing kids can chew on made of rubber) and I liked to chew on my Barbies' hands and My Little Ponies' feet until I quit playing with them.  And he does not mouth all or even most toys anymore. I see it as neural stimulation.  Miles still has a few other sensory needs but all of them he can meet on his own and are a quick such as jumping up and down.

I still think his limited interaction with peers is because he can't ask them to play, or how things work, ect.  He plays with Avery and Avery can be rough, so I think he also is unsure about how kids he does not know will be towards him.  I was impressed the other day when we met some friends at a park.  We met up so Avery could play with his friend Colin and when they arrived I said "Avery, there is Colin" and Miles was running over to where Colin was with a big smile on his face!  Then when Miles was swinging and Colin's little brother Will was also swinging Miles was trying to interact with Will too, smiling and getting excited.  

He is a little mystery, but he so sweet.  I am sure when he starts talking the cutest and most interesting things will come out of his mouth.