The day I thought I was going to kill my cat

I did think my next blog post was going to be about Sensory Miles.  However, today was something crazy.

Many of you know my cat Ziggy is not doing well.  I came to terms with myself that I needed to assess Ziggy's quality of life.  The poor thing had been locked in our laundry room until that room really smelled and I moved him to the bathroom in the basement.  That is not the life I would like to live.  I mean I have been taking him outside in the back yard as much as I can, but I can't let him walk around the house because he seems to be peeing everywhere.

Saturday I wanted to get him to the vet... to tell them Ziggy's time is up.  It felt painful but they could not get him in until Tuesday... today.  Today I gave Ziggy extra love and cuddles and the whole time I had to keep myself from crying.  I kept having to remind myself that it would be better for him just to go then to keep him and he keep getting worse.  Of course they could not get him in until 4:00 pm so the day had to start out like normal.

The boys played outside in their swimming pool and I took Ziggy out for fresh air.  He looked so sad and pathetic.  His fur is all knotted because he does not care to clean himself.  His underside is really bad because I was having to pull him out from under my bed by his scruff and the made his fur more knotted. I noticed he could barely walk and the confirmed to me that it was time.

I had to get the boys in the house and dressed to go grocery shopping.  Strangely Avery asked why I was not getting a 'car cart'.  "Why, are you going to sit in one?" I asked him.  "I'm tired" he replied.  So he crammed himself into the car with Miles.  Miles kept hugging Avery into a headlock, therefor many people in the store found them amusing.

We got home in time for me to put the groceries away and get the cat packed up in his carrier to go to the vet.  On my way to the vet I had the radio on.  The song "Stay" by Rihanna ( video and song here) was playing and then started to get overplayed by another signal playing some somber classical cello music.  The music then when I thought the music was coming back it was really "Try" by Pink. (song here).  Then the music changed back into cello, then Stay, then Try and kept switching.  Don't ask me why I did not change the station or turn it off because I don't know.  Instead I said out loud. "Cut it out!  I am not in the mood! Pick a song... one song... and stick with it!!!!" and then the music switched to Stay and stayed.

At the vet:  In walk a new doctor that does not know Ziggy.  All he knows is what he has read on his charts. The funny thing about bringing Ziggy to the vet is that they always have a hunch what is wrong with him. and hunched on how to treat him.  This new guy didn't even let me get in that I wanted to end the poor things life.  He talked about getting him retested with an expensive test for his thyroid, and how if it is, and he BET ME that HE WOULD BE RIGHT, that it would be easy to treat.  He kept saying how Ziggy is too young to be sick and he would not really let me say much.  I ended up getting Ziggy more food and more of the steroid medication he has been taking and left with my cat.

I had planned on the fact that I would be crying when I left for home... but not because I was taking the cat back home with me.  I had no idea what was happening really.  I am still a bit confused about it all.  Anyway on the way home it started raining, it was sunny and pouring rain at the same time.  Then there would be no rain and you could see a head that you were going to drive into another down pour.  It was strange,

Sorry how long this is. ... I was thinking the next part I was going to write about going to the Chilson Center could be a whole different post.  So I think I will spare you and write the rest later.