Down

I have been feeling a little out of sorts lately.  I'm not sure what it is, maybe it is everything. 

With everything I have been so moody and often short of patients... I usually have more. 

Avery started Kindergarten this week.  That is a big change for all of us.  I put him in full day and think that will be good for him.  I have seen positive changes in him and growing up changes in him.  One of his recent developments is going night diaper free.  Like everything, going diaperless was Avery's idea and he has been 99% accident free.  Even though that is a great thing since he is almost 6 I feel a little sad that my baby is growing up.  He also has been sleeping in his bed all night.  It is like Kindergarten has flipped a switch in him.  I also wanted to move his bed time up by an hour starting with 1/2 hour and school has naturally done that for me. 

Miles goes back to preschool this year.  I am more sad that it is his last year in preschool than the fact that Avery is in Kindergarten.  I feel like this will be a good year for Miles and he will have a lot of growth in his development.  One huge development is that Miles has now become his daddy's buddy.  He has always been a "momma's boy" and probably always will, but he pushed me away the other day because all he wanted was his daddy and only Daddy could make it better. I am very happy for that but part of me is really sad that I couldn't make him better.   On a bittersweet note, Miles is finding that communication is important.  Here comes the frustrations.

Miles has also been getting into a lot of trouble... Trouble Monkey!  Think of trouble people usually think of 2-year-olds get into.  We skipped that with Miles.  I keep having to remember that Avery was also that way.  A good little 2-year-old and when he was 4 1/2 I wondered where it all came from.  So in my family it is 'normal'.   That combo and the communication issues then makes for mysterious melt down at the frozen yogurt shop and a birthday party.  At least the people at the party were more understanding.  The most likely childless couple walking across the parking lot made me feel like a crazy lady force feeding my child frozen yogurt... that I didn't even pay for... that is another story!

I don't think I have fully acknowledged yet that my mom is moving from Colorado to Arizona.  I know in reality that she could have moved farther away but it is pretty far away.  I farthest away I have been from my mom was when I lived in Denver and she was in Fort Collins.  My mom drove to Denver anytime I needed her to watch my kids.  I am happy for her new adventure in life and I know I can go visit.  I know I am lucky to have her and thankful she did not die from her heart attack in 2000.


I am also freaking out about my cat Ziggy.  He has been sick on and off his whole life.  Lately he has been worse and then he gets better.  He has been peeing in places he should not and it is stressful.  One week he was doing really bad, I though it was it.  I should have taken him in to the vet then, I should have had him put down then.   Unfortunately the same week Andy's mom had a severe medical issue and me crying about putting my cat down seemed to be trivial so I thought I would wait.  Waiting has just made it harder for me to do.

I feel I have a lot more to write, but I keep getting interrupted therefore messing up my sentimentality of what I want to say. Maybe it will come back to me.