I never used to really think about my first impressions and how I come across to people. In fact I will admit that I just assumed every one just liked me. It was a hard lesson to learn that some people just don't like me... for their own reasons... but as a 30-year-old adult I have come with terms that so people just won't and that is ok... I probably don't like them either :).
Even thought I believe what I have stated above, in my 20's I also learned that peoples first impressions of me were the opposite of what I always thought I was. For example a group of girls I had worked with at King Soopers told me one day that when I had started at their store (my 4th store) they thought I was probably a stuck-up bitch and surprised that I was one of the nicest people the have worked with. I was very very puzzled. Why did I come across that way? Was it because I had the confidence of working for the company several years already? The part of me that does not open up to those I do not know yet? The fact that I don't just walk around smiling... I mean really who does that anyway? Strangely these girls were not the only people to say something similar... something like I was not who they thought I would be.
I learned that was ok too. I made changes to make sure if I could help it, make sure my first impression was what I wanted them to think of me.
Even though I have grown a lot in this area, I still get annoyed when people just assume things about me, my family, or my life. I'm talking about people I have known for a long time and not just first impressions of people I just met.
For example; Andrew and I bought a new house. The house is in a nice neighborhood with some moderate to pricey homes. We went from a low income apartment to our new home and I think many people had some assumptions about how we could make such a move... no we are not rich. I don't feel I need to get into my financial situation because seriously it is not your business.
I will say this: Besides mortgage loans I do not have any debt. I do not own a credit card. My car is paid off. I don't have an iPhone or a smart phone of any kind. I can not even use the internet on my phone. I own 2 pairs of jeans and not as many clothing items or shoes as other people. I go grocery shopping... I used to use coupons but realized I was buying crap... but I still try not to over spend. Yes we went to Disneyland... that is what happens when you save money. Ok sure I don't have a job... I am mooching of my husbands disability benefits.... until I can get a job. All those teaching jobs that were supposed to be around when I got out of school are no where. Andrew and I are both good with our money and we can get by... I am not saying we are 'poor' either. We just know how to spend and save.
Now sorry if I seem like I have gotten off topic, but my point was that people assume things about people based on what they see. And unless you know all the details of what I just shared with you... you still don't know the fact... so quit assuming... and not just about me either.
Off my soapbox now!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
I think I am on to something!
In most ways Miles has always been my easier child, but he is definitely my harder child when it comes to figuring out what he needs. I am not just speaking of the fact that he does not talk much. The things that work to sooth him are ALWAYS changing, or the things he will or will not eat or do or play with. I am sure other children are just like Miles and I am not complaining... but Avery will tell you exactly what he wants and needs and makes it obvious and easier for me to work with.
When Miles was little it was easy to get him to sleep and lately he has been having a hard time with it. I think Miles himself could not think of what 'thing' could help him sooth himself to sleep. Neither of my children want to sleep in their own rooms or beds right now and both sleep on the couch. I decided I needed to start a better bedtime routine and I needed to do it soon.
Monday I started letting Miles fall asleep on the couch next to me while watching T.V. At Target I found a tiger stuffed animal that looks like Hobbs from Calvin and Hobbs... therefore naming the tiger Hobbs. I kept giving Miles Hobbs to cuddle with, putting his arms around Hobbs every time Miles let go. Eventually Miles was asleep. Tuesday and Wednesday the same and it got easier. I figured that I would just get him used to falling asleep with Hobbs and then start working on falling asleep in his bed because he would have Hobbs to help him.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I left him on the couch when I went to bed. Last night I decided to take Miles and Hobbs to Miles' room after he had fallen asleep. He stayed asleep until 2:30am when he woke up because he needed a new diaper. The interesting thing was he woke up and stayed in his room! The only reason I knew he was up was because I heard him crying. I went in changed his diaper, put Hobbs into his arms, covered him with his blanket and walked away. He went back to sleep! He was up again at 3:30 am. This time no wet diaper; again he was in his room crying. I gave him Hobbs, told him Hobbs was with him and I stood there for a minute and left again.
One more wake at 5:30. This time he was in the hall way. I was tired and decided that I would try to take him to my bed or the couch. I picked him up and he gave me a big hug. When I started walking away from his room he gave me a little whine so I turned around and walked to his room. I put him in bed, gave him Hobbs, but I knew he was too awake for me to walk away so I got in his bed and he hugged Hobbs and we fell asleep until Avery woke us up 2 hours later.
When Miles was little it was easy to get him to sleep and lately he has been having a hard time with it. I think Miles himself could not think of what 'thing' could help him sooth himself to sleep. Neither of my children want to sleep in their own rooms or beds right now and both sleep on the couch. I decided I needed to start a better bedtime routine and I needed to do it soon.
Monday I started letting Miles fall asleep on the couch next to me while watching T.V. At Target I found a tiger stuffed animal that looks like Hobbs from Calvin and Hobbs... therefore naming the tiger Hobbs. I kept giving Miles Hobbs to cuddle with, putting his arms around Hobbs every time Miles let go. Eventually Miles was asleep. Tuesday and Wednesday the same and it got easier. I figured that I would just get him used to falling asleep with Hobbs and then start working on falling asleep in his bed because he would have Hobbs to help him.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I left him on the couch when I went to bed. Last night I decided to take Miles and Hobbs to Miles' room after he had fallen asleep. He stayed asleep until 2:30am when he woke up because he needed a new diaper. The interesting thing was he woke up and stayed in his room! The only reason I knew he was up was because I heard him crying. I went in changed his diaper, put Hobbs into his arms, covered him with his blanket and walked away. He went back to sleep! He was up again at 3:30 am. This time no wet diaper; again he was in his room crying. I gave him Hobbs, told him Hobbs was with him and I stood there for a minute and left again.
One more wake at 5:30. This time he was in the hall way. I was tired and decided that I would try to take him to my bed or the couch. I picked him up and he gave me a big hug. When I started walking away from his room he gave me a little whine so I turned around and walked to his room. I put him in bed, gave him Hobbs, but I knew he was too awake for me to walk away so I got in his bed and he hugged Hobbs and we fell asleep until Avery woke us up 2 hours later.
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