I never used to really think about my first impressions and how I come across to people. In fact I will admit that I just assumed every one just liked me. It was a hard lesson to learn that some people just don't like me... for their own reasons... but as a 30-year-old adult I have come with terms that so people just won't and that is ok... I probably don't like them either :).
Even thought I believe what I have stated above, in my 20's I also learned that peoples first impressions of me were the opposite of what I always thought I was. For example a group of girls I had worked with at King Soopers told me one day that when I had started at their store (my 4th store) they thought I was probably a stuck-up bitch and surprised that I was one of the nicest people the have worked with. I was very very puzzled. Why did I come across that way? Was it because I had the confidence of working for the company several years already? The part of me that does not open up to those I do not know yet? The fact that I don't just walk around smiling... I mean really who does that anyway? Strangely these girls were not the only people to say something similar... something like I was not who they thought I would be.
I learned that was ok too. I made changes to make sure if I could help it, make sure my first impression was what I wanted them to think of me.
Even though I have grown a lot in this area, I still get annoyed when people just assume things about me, my family, or my life. I'm talking about people I have known for a long time and not just first impressions of people I just met.
For example; Andrew and I bought a new house. The house is in a nice neighborhood with some moderate to pricey homes. We went from a low income apartment to our new home and I think many people had some assumptions about how we could make such a move... no we are not rich. I don't feel I need to get into my financial situation because seriously it is not your business.
I will say this: Besides mortgage loans I do not have any debt. I do not own a credit card. My car is paid off. I don't have an iPhone or a smart phone of any kind. I can not even use the internet on my phone. I own 2 pairs of jeans and not as many clothing items or shoes as other people. I go grocery shopping... I used to use coupons but realized I was buying crap... but I still try not to over spend. Yes we went to Disneyland... that is what happens when you save money. Ok sure I don't have a job... I am mooching of my husbands disability benefits.... until I can get a job. All those teaching jobs that were supposed to be around when I got out of school are no where. Andrew and I are both good with our money and we can get by... I am not saying we are 'poor' either. We just know how to spend and save.
Now sorry if I seem like I have gotten off topic, but my point was that people assume things about people based on what they see. And unless you know all the details of what I just shared with you... you still don't know the fact... so quit assuming... and not just about me either.
Off my soapbox now!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
I think I am on to something!
In most ways Miles has always been my easier child, but he is definitely my harder child when it comes to figuring out what he needs. I am not just speaking of the fact that he does not talk much. The things that work to sooth him are ALWAYS changing, or the things he will or will not eat or do or play with. I am sure other children are just like Miles and I am not complaining... but Avery will tell you exactly what he wants and needs and makes it obvious and easier for me to work with.
When Miles was little it was easy to get him to sleep and lately he has been having a hard time with it. I think Miles himself could not think of what 'thing' could help him sooth himself to sleep. Neither of my children want to sleep in their own rooms or beds right now and both sleep on the couch. I decided I needed to start a better bedtime routine and I needed to do it soon.
Monday I started letting Miles fall asleep on the couch next to me while watching T.V. At Target I found a tiger stuffed animal that looks like Hobbs from Calvin and Hobbs... therefore naming the tiger Hobbs. I kept giving Miles Hobbs to cuddle with, putting his arms around Hobbs every time Miles let go. Eventually Miles was asleep. Tuesday and Wednesday the same and it got easier. I figured that I would just get him used to falling asleep with Hobbs and then start working on falling asleep in his bed because he would have Hobbs to help him.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I left him on the couch when I went to bed. Last night I decided to take Miles and Hobbs to Miles' room after he had fallen asleep. He stayed asleep until 2:30am when he woke up because he needed a new diaper. The interesting thing was he woke up and stayed in his room! The only reason I knew he was up was because I heard him crying. I went in changed his diaper, put Hobbs into his arms, covered him with his blanket and walked away. He went back to sleep! He was up again at 3:30 am. This time no wet diaper; again he was in his room crying. I gave him Hobbs, told him Hobbs was with him and I stood there for a minute and left again.
One more wake at 5:30. This time he was in the hall way. I was tired and decided that I would try to take him to my bed or the couch. I picked him up and he gave me a big hug. When I started walking away from his room he gave me a little whine so I turned around and walked to his room. I put him in bed, gave him Hobbs, but I knew he was too awake for me to walk away so I got in his bed and he hugged Hobbs and we fell asleep until Avery woke us up 2 hours later.
When Miles was little it was easy to get him to sleep and lately he has been having a hard time with it. I think Miles himself could not think of what 'thing' could help him sooth himself to sleep. Neither of my children want to sleep in their own rooms or beds right now and both sleep on the couch. I decided I needed to start a better bedtime routine and I needed to do it soon.
Monday I started letting Miles fall asleep on the couch next to me while watching T.V. At Target I found a tiger stuffed animal that looks like Hobbs from Calvin and Hobbs... therefore naming the tiger Hobbs. I kept giving Miles Hobbs to cuddle with, putting his arms around Hobbs every time Miles let go. Eventually Miles was asleep. Tuesday and Wednesday the same and it got easier. I figured that I would just get him used to falling asleep with Hobbs and then start working on falling asleep in his bed because he would have Hobbs to help him.
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I left him on the couch when I went to bed. Last night I decided to take Miles and Hobbs to Miles' room after he had fallen asleep. He stayed asleep until 2:30am when he woke up because he needed a new diaper. The interesting thing was he woke up and stayed in his room! The only reason I knew he was up was because I heard him crying. I went in changed his diaper, put Hobbs into his arms, covered him with his blanket and walked away. He went back to sleep! He was up again at 3:30 am. This time no wet diaper; again he was in his room crying. I gave him Hobbs, told him Hobbs was with him and I stood there for a minute and left again.
One more wake at 5:30. This time he was in the hall way. I was tired and decided that I would try to take him to my bed or the couch. I picked him up and he gave me a big hug. When I started walking away from his room he gave me a little whine so I turned around and walked to his room. I put him in bed, gave him Hobbs, but I knew he was too awake for me to walk away so I got in his bed and he hugged Hobbs and we fell asleep until Avery woke us up 2 hours later.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Sorry to complain
If you don't want to read my whining then turn away now!!!!!
First I will start off with no complaint but I will warn it it will lead into ranting!!!
Miles has grown so much in the last 6 months. I took note because he just turned 3 1/2 yesterday. He has said more words and singed more words and even signed "fruit-snacks please." He is more social, he wants to play with other kids and yet he is not sure how to join them still. Lately I have been able to let him play further away from me on the playground. I am sure I looked like one of those annoying 'helicopter' parents that never let the kid do anything for themselves... but if I didn't do that he would be gone; the boy can run fast... and he is quiet. If you did not want to sprint you had to stay as close as you could. Now he might go farther away but will turn around and come back.
One of the newest things I have noticed is how Miles plays with toys. If you watch him closely you can see the back and forth conversation going on in his head between two objects. To an outsider he might look funny since he is playing quietly as opposed to Avery having a strange conversation with himself: "It's time to go into the deep, that is absurd" Avery says to himself while playing with two things. If you think about it Avery's behavior is strange, but it is age appropriate.
Watching Miles makes me wonder about what the therapists he was seeing from age 2-3 would say now. Since Miles is non-verbal it seems like anything he did or did not do was labeled a red flag for Autism. If I say Avery did the same thing at that age that didn't seem to matter... because Avery could talk after age 2. One person said they did not think Miles showed enough emotions and tantrums were age appropriate ... and that was a flag. Another working with him at the same time said that his tantrums when not wanting to do her tasks... was a flag. They seemed to be focused on things like the fact that he used his hands instead of utensils and could not dress himself instead of what mattered. And guess what... he CAN do BOTH now almost all by himself.
CHANGE OF SUBJECT:
I should not care what people think of me, and most the time I really don't. However sometimes I get upset when I am confused about what people think or if I think their reason for not liking me or talking about me is for superficial reasons. Right now I am not always happy with my own body image and being overweight. But I still tell myself that I love me and we are working on that part. I go to the gym at the rec center 2 times a week and my family goes on 30-60 minute walks almost every day. At the rec-center--- that is the problem. I get sick of these super skinny, 'I don't want to get my hair and make up wet in the SWIMMING POOL", teenagers. I am getting healthy and all they can do is comment on how fat I am. I am not even making it up on occasion I have heard them talk about me... when I am right there. Most the time it is before or after we take the kids swimming and I am in the locker room with Miles. I'm sorry but I hope they get twice as fat and have an even harder time loosing weight after they have kids. I love my children and my extra weight is worth it for them.
ONE MORE... even though I could go on forever.
Learn how to drive people.... I go the speed limit.... deal with it and GET OFF YOUR DAMN PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First I will start off with no complaint but I will warn it it will lead into ranting!!!
Miles has grown so much in the last 6 months. I took note because he just turned 3 1/2 yesterday. He has said more words and singed more words and even signed "fruit-snacks please." He is more social, he wants to play with other kids and yet he is not sure how to join them still. Lately I have been able to let him play further away from me on the playground. I am sure I looked like one of those annoying 'helicopter' parents that never let the kid do anything for themselves... but if I didn't do that he would be gone; the boy can run fast... and he is quiet. If you did not want to sprint you had to stay as close as you could. Now he might go farther away but will turn around and come back.
One of the newest things I have noticed is how Miles plays with toys. If you watch him closely you can see the back and forth conversation going on in his head between two objects. To an outsider he might look funny since he is playing quietly as opposed to Avery having a strange conversation with himself: "It's time to go into the deep, that is absurd" Avery says to himself while playing with two things. If you think about it Avery's behavior is strange, but it is age appropriate.
Watching Miles makes me wonder about what the therapists he was seeing from age 2-3 would say now. Since Miles is non-verbal it seems like anything he did or did not do was labeled a red flag for Autism. If I say Avery did the same thing at that age that didn't seem to matter... because Avery could talk after age 2. One person said they did not think Miles showed enough emotions and tantrums were age appropriate ... and that was a flag. Another working with him at the same time said that his tantrums when not wanting to do her tasks... was a flag. They seemed to be focused on things like the fact that he used his hands instead of utensils and could not dress himself instead of what mattered. And guess what... he CAN do BOTH now almost all by himself.
CHANGE OF SUBJECT:
I should not care what people think of me, and most the time I really don't. However sometimes I get upset when I am confused about what people think or if I think their reason for not liking me or talking about me is for superficial reasons. Right now I am not always happy with my own body image and being overweight. But I still tell myself that I love me and we are working on that part. I go to the gym at the rec center 2 times a week and my family goes on 30-60 minute walks almost every day. At the rec-center--- that is the problem. I get sick of these super skinny, 'I don't want to get my hair and make up wet in the SWIMMING POOL", teenagers. I am getting healthy and all they can do is comment on how fat I am. I am not even making it up on occasion I have heard them talk about me... when I am right there. Most the time it is before or after we take the kids swimming and I am in the locker room with Miles. I'm sorry but I hope they get twice as fat and have an even harder time loosing weight after they have kids. I love my children and my extra weight is worth it for them.
ONE MORE... even though I could go on forever.
Learn how to drive people.... I go the speed limit.... deal with it and GET OFF YOUR DAMN PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Book review
I read the book Late-Talking Children by Thomas Sowell.
My intention was to read another book by Thomas Sowell that the library did not have. Sowell wrote a book based on a group of people he conversed with through emails, letters and such who all had late-talking children. These families contacted Sowell after he wrote articles in the paper about his own son John.
The book starts with John's story and other adults who were once mysterious late-talkers. The book proceeds with the stories of the families who contacted Sowell with their stories and what he knew about them based on letters and parent surveys. Many of the stories are fascinating. The book was written in 1997 and I was amazed at all the different parents saying their child was diagnosed with Autism by the school and professionals said "NO WAY!" I was not aware that the quickness to label children Autistic was going on at this time.
Many of the children reminded me of Avery. The children had excellent memory, quickness with numbers and letters, went from saying nothing to say full sentences and late to potty train because they just didn't care if they did or not. The only difference was that compared to these children in the book Avery talking right at age 2 does not make him a late talker. Most the children in this book did not talk much or at all until they were 4.
Sowell then addresses the similarities between families of late talkers. This section actually made me feel that if my children were not late-talkers then they would be 'abnormal'. What I mean by this is Sowell noted the occupations of parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. There was always at least one and more likely more than one family member in either, engineering, accounting, science, mathematics, computers or music.
So my kids have: Father- science, music, Grandfather - computers, Grandmother - accounting, Uncle - computers, music, Grandfather- architect (I would lump that with engineering), Mother- music, and I would also have to include Grandmother- art
* music was described as plays an instrument - musical profession
My only problem with this book is that Sowell continues the book with a story of a boy who really is Autistic and gifted. However, even though the story is wonderful it gave little insight as to why this boy was really Autistic compared to the other children who sounded like they could be and weren't.
Many other reviews of the book on goodreads said they were not impressed since the book only covers children with very high IQ. That may be true but I found that some of the children were thought not to have high IQ until they could talk...
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
First Day of School!
Today both my boys started school. Strangely my 3-year-old was the returning student and my 4 1/2-year-old was brand new.
I think Miles heard me say to Avery that they were going to school today. Miles became restless and crabby, however he successfully got the right shoe on the right foot all by himself. Of course he had not pants on and the shirt he had on last night when he went to bed. Any way he made the morning difficult because all he wanted to do was go to school... oh and eat cookies I made last night.
Avery's class includes lunch... and Miles' class does not. So this week we are trying this out. Avery's class starts at 12:00 for lunch and Miles' class starts at 12:30. So far we decided that it wont work so we might say we are feeding Avery at home and do so bringing him in closer to 12:30. He teacher said we could do that and I should have said that is what we were going to do.
Right now the boys are not going to our neighborhood school for preschool. Miles is in a special communication and behavioral class. There was an opening in the other preschool class at the same school at the same time for Avery.
To get into Kindergarten a child has to be 5 by October 1... and since Avery's birthday is October 18 he did not make the Kindergarten cut. I have been told multiple times by multiple people that since Avery is a boy it is good that he will be one of the older kids. I figure they are probably right and if Avery should have been in Kindergarten than he may someday skip a grade or be in the gifted and talented class(es)... but what do I know.
Miles was so happy to be at school. He kept giving me the "get out of here Mom" looks. Avery was also very excited for his first day. We played with Miles on the playground after Avery was settled. Miles was more than ready and got bored with the playground. When it was closer to time to go in more kids had arrived and there was one little boy that was upset and crying. Miles got a little upset because the boy was crying, however as soon as the door to the class was open Miles was all smiles and also the other little boy had stopped crying.
When we went to pick up the boys Andrew picked up Avery and I picked up Miles. Miles looked sleepy but happy and they said he had a good day. When I had walked in the room a sweet little girl that has Downs Syndrome grabbed my hand, she was ready to go home and knew she needed someones hand. After I grabbed Miles' backpack she grabbed my hand again so I had to let go of Miles hand to readjust the bag and then the little girl also had let go and she grabbed Miles' hand. He seemed a little shocked but did not pull away. Then he walked around her to look at her face and gave her a "Miles hug". Sometimes Miles gives big hugs and sometimes he has this funny one arm hug that I call a Miles hug. It was so sweet.
Avery told us he learned about germs and washing hands. He read a book with the teacher, he had to color before he got to eat apples for snack and they got to play outside. "We went outside, and guess what? Miles was outside too!" he said. He also said he is ready to go back for the next day! Then I realized after Avery's bath he had picked out LEGO underwear in the morning, a LEGO shirt and had his LEGO shoes. :)
I think Miles heard me say to Avery that they were going to school today. Miles became restless and crabby, however he successfully got the right shoe on the right foot all by himself. Of course he had not pants on and the shirt he had on last night when he went to bed. Any way he made the morning difficult because all he wanted to do was go to school... oh and eat cookies I made last night.
Right now the boys are not going to our neighborhood school for preschool. Miles is in a special communication and behavioral class. There was an opening in the other preschool class at the same school at the same time for Avery.
When we went to pick up the boys Andrew picked up Avery and I picked up Miles. Miles looked sleepy but happy and they said he had a good day. When I had walked in the room a sweet little girl that has Downs Syndrome grabbed my hand, she was ready to go home and knew she needed someones hand. After I grabbed Miles' backpack she grabbed my hand again so I had to let go of Miles hand to readjust the bag and then the little girl also had let go and she grabbed Miles' hand. He seemed a little shocked but did not pull away. Then he walked around her to look at her face and gave her a "Miles hug". Sometimes Miles gives big hugs and sometimes he has this funny one arm hug that I call a Miles hug. It was so sweet.
Avery told us he learned about germs and washing hands. He read a book with the teacher, he had to color before he got to eat apples for snack and they got to play outside. "We went outside, and guess what? Miles was outside too!" he said. He also said he is ready to go back for the next day! Then I realized after Avery's bath he had picked out LEGO underwear in the morning, a LEGO shirt and had his LEGO shoes. :)
Monday, August 27, 2012
my annoying trip to the ER with a non-verbal child
For the last couple day Miles has not really been feeling well. So of course to go with it is the lack of sleep, well because he has a runny/stuff nose... we all know how that makes it hard to sleep.
He is also uncomfortable and being in the house makes him upset since he is uncomfortable. We have needing to take him out in the car to put him to sleep for the night, and giving into the drive because we assume he will not need to go after his cold passes.
Then yesterday he started becoming 'impossible'. I mean he had turned into a tiny monster... he did not want to be at home and he would start screaming and nothing made him happy... but to leave the house. We went to the school playground, he went to the gas station with Grandma, then the gas station with me and then we drove from Loveland to Greeley and later we were driving from Loveland to Fort Collins and he fell asleep.
Miles was out cold at 9:00 pm. I got Avery to bed at 10:00 and then got ready for bed myself. 12:00 am Miles was up and screaming again.
Ok to back track Miles sometimes has a problem constipation. Even though he has not been wanting to eat much I gave him Pedia-lax since he had not be regular... but I did not think that was the problem.
The other thing he was doing yesterday was not wanting to sit on the potty or in his booster seat at the table. He was also pulling at his penis and crying so when he was up so early I decided it could be a UTI and took him to the ER.
Of course when we first got to the ER he had quit screaming so I had to tell them he had been screaming but is not now and that he is 'non-verbal' so he can't tell me what is wrong.
Non-verbal.... of course this sparks all types of questions. "Can he say anything?" "Can he hear?" "Is he Autistic?" (you mean is he a child with Autism?) By then he already wanted to leave the ER so he was screaming like he was at home. so then this sparks more Autism questions. "Is he like this a lot?" "Does he act like this frequently?"
I wanted say "No you fricken idiots! Why the hell do you think I brought him here for?"
Next I get asked by the doctor what I think is wrong. So I tell him all that had been going on. I tell the doc that I think my little guy has to pee but wont, that perhaps it hurts... maybe a UTI (?) I also mention that he had been pulling at his penis a lot like it had been bothering him... and the response I got was "All little boys play with their penis" um yeah duh but they usually don't cry about it!
So I get asked if he can pee in a cup. Ha ha ha, yeah right! So unfortunately I tortured my poor son with a catheter because the urine test came back fine.
Miles is also very strong and it took a lot of nurses to hold him down. Things were not going well. He did not want to take Motrin or Tylenol, they tried to do an ultra sound of his testicles, but he was not having any of that either. The doctor checked his ears and everything else and Miles was fine. The doctor kept checking his penis and said it looked ok too. Then one final time he saw some red irritation that could be from swimming or from the pull-up diapers I have been putting him in.
After 3 hours in the ER the doc brought up the possibility of twisted testicles but would have to sedate Miles to look at him. I had enough at the point and so did Miles. He hilariously kept trying to push and pull me out the door and bring me his shoes. I just said I will go home and put ointment on him and see how that goes.
The ride home did not get Miles to sleep. We were at home 4: something in the morning and until he finally peed on the floor he would not sleep once he peed on the floor he was out.. well until 7.
So he is still cranky and wants to leave the house.
He is also uncomfortable and being in the house makes him upset since he is uncomfortable. We have needing to take him out in the car to put him to sleep for the night, and giving into the drive because we assume he will not need to go after his cold passes.
Then yesterday he started becoming 'impossible'. I mean he had turned into a tiny monster... he did not want to be at home and he would start screaming and nothing made him happy... but to leave the house. We went to the school playground, he went to the gas station with Grandma, then the gas station with me and then we drove from Loveland to Greeley and later we were driving from Loveland to Fort Collins and he fell asleep.
Miles was out cold at 9:00 pm. I got Avery to bed at 10:00 and then got ready for bed myself. 12:00 am Miles was up and screaming again.
Ok to back track Miles sometimes has a problem constipation. Even though he has not been wanting to eat much I gave him Pedia-lax since he had not be regular... but I did not think that was the problem.
The other thing he was doing yesterday was not wanting to sit on the potty or in his booster seat at the table. He was also pulling at his penis and crying so when he was up so early I decided it could be a UTI and took him to the ER.
Of course when we first got to the ER he had quit screaming so I had to tell them he had been screaming but is not now and that he is 'non-verbal' so he can't tell me what is wrong.
Non-verbal.... of course this sparks all types of questions. "Can he say anything?" "Can he hear?" "Is he Autistic?" (you mean is he a child with Autism?) By then he already wanted to leave the ER so he was screaming like he was at home. so then this sparks more Autism questions. "Is he like this a lot?" "Does he act like this frequently?"
I wanted say "No you fricken idiots! Why the hell do you think I brought him here for?"
Next I get asked by the doctor what I think is wrong. So I tell him all that had been going on. I tell the doc that I think my little guy has to pee but wont, that perhaps it hurts... maybe a UTI (?) I also mention that he had been pulling at his penis a lot like it had been bothering him... and the response I got was "All little boys play with their penis" um yeah duh but they usually don't cry about it!
So I get asked if he can pee in a cup. Ha ha ha, yeah right! So unfortunately I tortured my poor son with a catheter because the urine test came back fine.
Miles is also very strong and it took a lot of nurses to hold him down. Things were not going well. He did not want to take Motrin or Tylenol, they tried to do an ultra sound of his testicles, but he was not having any of that either. The doctor checked his ears and everything else and Miles was fine. The doctor kept checking his penis and said it looked ok too. Then one final time he saw some red irritation that could be from swimming or from the pull-up diapers I have been putting him in.
After 3 hours in the ER the doc brought up the possibility of twisted testicles but would have to sedate Miles to look at him. I had enough at the point and so did Miles. He hilariously kept trying to push and pull me out the door and bring me his shoes. I just said I will go home and put ointment on him and see how that goes.
The ride home did not get Miles to sleep. We were at home 4: something in the morning and until he finally peed on the floor he would not sleep once he peed on the floor he was out.. well until 7.
So he is still cranky and wants to leave the house.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
one from caringbridge
Day 74 - Shawna Entry (June 24, 2010)
They say that laughter is the best medicine, so Ryan needs to visit Andy more often.
Today Andy had some new visitors, his friends Ryan, Aaron and Nick. I started talking to Ryan about him buying a new house to which Ryan responded "I have grown up 10 years in 2." Then I looked over at Andy and he was laughing, he found what Ryan said to be funny. In fact Ryan made him laugh a lot. This was the first time any of us have seen him laugh since before the accident. I think he was glad that his good friends had come to visit.
Andy's response to things such as questions and commands have had some delay. Today that delay did not seem to be as long. He answered a question that Ryan asked and some of my questions with a head nod for yes. I think his communication was great today for not producing any speech. I think I was able to help him get his needs met today by asking the right yes/no questions. If I was totally off I apologize to him :)
They say that laughter is the best medicine, so Ryan needs to visit Andy more often.
Today Andy had some new visitors, his friends Ryan, Aaron and Nick. I started talking to Ryan about him buying a new house to which Ryan responded "I have grown up 10 years in 2." Then I looked over at Andy and he was laughing, he found what Ryan said to be funny. In fact Ryan made him laugh a lot. This was the first time any of us have seen him laugh since before the accident. I think he was glad that his good friends had come to visit.
Andy's response to things such as questions and commands have had some delay. Today that delay did not seem to be as long. He answered a question that Ryan asked and some of my questions with a head nod for yes. I think his communication was great today for not producing any speech. I think I was able to help him get his needs met today by asking the right yes/no questions. If I was totally off I apologize to him :)
While Andrew was in the hospital we had a site called caring-bridge that we used to kept everyone up to date. <http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/andrewshearer/journal>
I quit updating it in May 2011. No one has removed it yet. I forget about little moments like these and how things were up and down. The journal documents how differently family dealt with the stress of this accident. The entries were updated my myself, Andrew's mother, and father.
Here is one more that was my favorite entry I wrote:
Written Jun 21, 2010 7:44am
Shawna Entry:
Human beings are complex creatures.We have our own ways of dealing with love, pain, fear, worry, joy, excitement, change and what is not normal to us. Who really knows why emotion and emotional reaction can be so different from person to person.
I think the hardest thing right now for everyone is that we are in the unknown. We don't know what is going to happen today or the next day and there are no definite answers. When talking to Andrew's nurse last night, I think she said it best: the brain is unique to each individual, it is not like a broken bone where you are told 'it will heal in 6 weeks, then rehab will take this long and it will be almost as good as new.'
Even right now the doctors have little answers and in their round-about-way eventually are telling you they do not know. It pushes on the paticence of the family of the loved one who wants you to hurry up and be better.
Right now I am trying to embrace this unknown and not give up my hope and faith that Andrew will recover 97-110% (This is the part where in my mind he wakes up when I tell him this and argues me that there is NO WAY he could be anything over 100%). We were told it could take one week or even a month before he might wake up and that it is all up to him.
To help us stay strong we must remember that Andrew is 30-years-old (even though he is older than me I am told this is young *insert humor here*). He has two bachelors degrees that he got within 6 years. This not only shows that he is a smart man, but a man who works hard to get what he wants. We have been together for 10 years and married for 7 (next week) and he has had the same job for 5 years. This shows his dedication through ups and downs. These are all things on his side for a good recovery.
It may be in my nature and my way of dealing to be an extreme optimistic, but I feel good about what is to come no matter how long it takes. Taking it in day by day and that is what we have every day and look at how many days we have had.
Continue with your prayers, good thoughts and good energy because I can feel it, and my family needs it to stay strong.
Love Shawna
I also wanted to add (at 10:18 am) that his nurse had also reminded me that he had come to the hospital awake and responsive; able to follow commands. She said he also has that on his side.
Human beings are complex creatures.We have our own ways of dealing with love, pain, fear, worry, joy, excitement, change and what is not normal to us. Who really knows why emotion and emotional reaction can be so different from person to person.
I think the hardest thing right now for everyone is that we are in the unknown. We don't know what is going to happen today or the next day and there are no definite answers. When talking to Andrew's nurse last night, I think she said it best: the brain is unique to each individual, it is not like a broken bone where you are told 'it will heal in 6 weeks, then rehab will take this long and it will be almost as good as new.'
Even right now the doctors have little answers and in their round-about-way eventually are telling you they do not know. It pushes on the paticence of the family of the loved one who wants you to hurry up and be better.
Right now I am trying to embrace this unknown and not give up my hope and faith that Andrew will recover 97-110% (This is the part where in my mind he wakes up when I tell him this and argues me that there is NO WAY he could be anything over 100%). We were told it could take one week or even a month before he might wake up and that it is all up to him.
To help us stay strong we must remember that Andrew is 30-years-old (even though he is older than me I am told this is young *insert humor here*). He has two bachelors degrees that he got within 6 years. This not only shows that he is a smart man, but a man who works hard to get what he wants. We have been together for 10 years and married for 7 (next week) and he has had the same job for 5 years. This shows his dedication through ups and downs. These are all things on his side for a good recovery.
It may be in my nature and my way of dealing to be an extreme optimistic, but I feel good about what is to come no matter how long it takes. Taking it in day by day and that is what we have every day and look at how many days we have had.
Continue with your prayers, good thoughts and good energy because I can feel it, and my family needs it to stay strong.
Love Shawna
I also wanted to add (at 10:18 am) that his nurse had also reminded me that he had come to the hospital awake and responsive; able to follow commands. She said he also has that on his side.
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