The things we do for our children....
Avery has always been a passionate and sensitive boy. I think as he gets older these qualities will transfer to something great. As for now it might seem trivial to people who are not Avery. Today we heard the ice cream truck and I told him we could get something if it drove by. Finding the truck now became Avery's passion.
We were playing in the backyard at the time and we could hear the music playing... somewhere. Avery walked to the end of the street a said he thought he saw it... nothing. We could hear it very clearly but it was nowhere. I thought it could be in the neighborhood across the street. We went back to the house and got the double stroller (the kids have bare feet) and decided to head over. We could hear it louder and yet it seemed to be getting farther away. I RAN down a path to one of the main roads... and the music was gone.
I told Avery we had Popsicles at home, but at this point he was ready to cry. "We have to find the ice cream truck!!!!" Ok, ok... The music picked up again and there we were walking down roads in the other neighborhood. It was close to 100 degrees out and here I was pushing two 40lb kids in a double stroller. We would hear the music then it would be gone. Every time Avery would ask if I could hear it I would say "I don't think so, maybe, no, maybe, yes." I was thinking that by then we had become delirious with the music stuck playing over and over in our heads.
Eventually I say to Avery. "I'm sorry but I don't think we will find it. You can have something from home or maybe.... " NO WAY THERE WAS THE TRUCK!!!! It's music was no longer playing but there it was! Avery waves frantically at the ice cream man. It was like we had just been found dieing of thirst in the desert. The man pulls over and thank goodness I can get some ice cream.
Avery gets this big thing shaped like Sponge Bob and Miles gets a Bomb-pop. Finally we start to head home. I have to tell Avery to eat his precious Sponge Bob before it melts or Miles takes a bite... and then Miles takes a bite. Avery wanted to show his daddy and I assure him that Daddy knows what Sponge Bob looks like and that I am sure he could picture what the ice cream looks like.
Finally home! We are right in front of the house and the $%^& ice cream truck (with music) drives by. Of course he does. I figure though that if we had not stopped him he probably would have just moved to another area in town.
Between this event and then working out at the rec center I have put 10,500 steps on my pedometer... so maybe I need to chase ice cream trucks more often.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
The list
I wish I still had the list they gave me when they mentioned flags for Autism. I sat there reading it over and over. I finally got out two highlighter markers and started marking the list. When I was done I had more symptoms marked for 4-year-old Avery than I did for almost 3-year-old Miles. The next time I saw the developmental educator who came to see Miles I told her this and all she could say was "Well clearly Avery does not have Autism."
I think most to all of those things I had marked for Avery have since vanished. However then it made me that much more annoyed with what they were saying.
Again I wish I still had that list. I Googled for it and the list no longer looks the same and depending on what you are reading the signs and symptoms change. I wish I could remember all the things I marked for Avery and the few things I marked for Miles. Also I all the things that they said Miles did or didn't do and then he started doing... like eye contact.
I think most to all of those things I had marked for Avery have since vanished. However then it made me that much more annoyed with what they were saying.
Again I wish I still had that list. I Googled for it and the list no longer looks the same and depending on what you are reading the signs and symptoms change. I wish I could remember all the things I marked for Avery and the few things I marked for Miles. Also I all the things that they said Miles did or didn't do and then he started doing... like eye contact.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Don't know my story? Feel free to ask not judge.
Other conversations have sparked this and yet it is something I think about often.
Now that I get out there into the world and now that my kids are in school I often get the question/ response "How come you have not gotten a diagnosis yet?" I want to say "Because I haven't OK."
For the most part I am not in hurry as I have mentioned before. As long as Miles gets a diagnosis before Kindergarten I am fine... and this is only because it determines what services he can get in school and perhaps outside of school.
So for those of you who don't know it or just want to read it anyway here it is: Miles was an easy baby. I was scared he would not be because Avery was and people kept telling me that if I had one easy baby there was no way Miles was going to be an easy baby... but he was. He was always happy and easy going except when he was hungry and you can ask his Nana about how he would not take a bottle... He laughed at his brother, he wanted to move quickly to keep up with him too. Unlike Avery he actually crawled and like Avery was an early walker. Because of Avery he heard and or watched the movie Cars everyday of his life for the first year but he was always excited when it came on. He was always on the go, but so was Avery.
He was always quite, unless he was upset, laughing or excited. When he was not talking or really even babbling (he cooed a lot though) we were not concerned and neither was the pediatrician because like Avery, Miles was hitting all the other milestones early except for communication. Avery started talking in sentences at age 2.
At age 2, Miles was not talking yet. The pediatrician referred me to child-find for my county but still said he was not too concerned with anything. This is where parents sometimes get mad a the pediatrician for dismissing things, I am not mad nor did I think he was blowing things off. Here is the other things my childrens' pediatrician knew about my children:
I was in the office every couple months for checkups between the two kids. The pediatrician was well aware of my family's situation and how Andrew was in an accident. He knew that my family was under distress and trauma and he knew it was hard to tell how it translated to my children. Miles was only 14 months at the time of the accident. He just wanted to watch and see how things woudl progress.
Miles had a harder time adjusting to apartment living and his daddy being home than anyone else. We were all happy but it was confusing to Miles. He was just turning 2. It has taken him 2 years (plus the year Andrew was gone) to become his daddy's buddy again. Since he has gained that back I have seen a burst of growth in Miles.
On to Foothills Gateway he had therapy through when he was 2. At the end of his time with them they brought up 'flags of Austism' and then even though they agreed he did not have many of them anymore the refused to remove them from the report. Some of it I thought was because Miles just did not like them and he just wanted to avoid them. They also said to me that because of the growth they saw he may grow out of more and testing was up to us. They also told me that they might not want to diagnose him until he was at least 4 in that case.
So there it is. We are now on a wait list for testing.
Now that I get out there into the world and now that my kids are in school I often get the question/ response "How come you have not gotten a diagnosis yet?" I want to say "Because I haven't OK."
For the most part I am not in hurry as I have mentioned before. As long as Miles gets a diagnosis before Kindergarten I am fine... and this is only because it determines what services he can get in school and perhaps outside of school.
So for those of you who don't know it or just want to read it anyway here it is: Miles was an easy baby. I was scared he would not be because Avery was and people kept telling me that if I had one easy baby there was no way Miles was going to be an easy baby... but he was. He was always happy and easy going except when he was hungry and you can ask his Nana about how he would not take a bottle... He laughed at his brother, he wanted to move quickly to keep up with him too. Unlike Avery he actually crawled and like Avery was an early walker. Because of Avery he heard and or watched the movie Cars everyday of his life for the first year but he was always excited when it came on. He was always on the go, but so was Avery.
He was always quite, unless he was upset, laughing or excited. When he was not talking or really even babbling (he cooed a lot though) we were not concerned and neither was the pediatrician because like Avery, Miles was hitting all the other milestones early except for communication. Avery started talking in sentences at age 2.
At age 2, Miles was not talking yet. The pediatrician referred me to child-find for my county but still said he was not too concerned with anything. This is where parents sometimes get mad a the pediatrician for dismissing things, I am not mad nor did I think he was blowing things off. Here is the other things my childrens' pediatrician knew about my children:
I was in the office every couple months for checkups between the two kids. The pediatrician was well aware of my family's situation and how Andrew was in an accident. He knew that my family was under distress and trauma and he knew it was hard to tell how it translated to my children. Miles was only 14 months at the time of the accident. He just wanted to watch and see how things woudl progress.
Miles had a harder time adjusting to apartment living and his daddy being home than anyone else. We were all happy but it was confusing to Miles. He was just turning 2. It has taken him 2 years (plus the year Andrew was gone) to become his daddy's buddy again. Since he has gained that back I have seen a burst of growth in Miles.
On to Foothills Gateway he had therapy through when he was 2. At the end of his time with them they brought up 'flags of Austism' and then even though they agreed he did not have many of them anymore the refused to remove them from the report. Some of it I thought was because Miles just did not like them and he just wanted to avoid them. They also said to me that because of the growth they saw he may grow out of more and testing was up to us. They also told me that they might not want to diagnose him until he was at least 4 in that case.
So there it is. We are now on a wait list for testing.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
I understand the need but in most instances it is not needed.
Label label label. I understand the need for labels, I attach them tho things, to myself, to others... we all do.
Here is my problems though, I don't want the general public to give my child the diagnosis of Autism. If specialists, doctors, therapists, and the likes give him one for treatment purpose I am fine with that. If the school needs a diagnosis for IEP and school help they can have it. At home he does not need that. out in public (at least now) he does not need that.
Acceptable home labels: Miles, "My-my", Monkey, stinker, cutie pie, little boy, child, and his astrological sign in Aries.
Today I had a guy at the Chilson (in the hot tub) ask me if Miles was Autistic. I don't mind the asking, I just told him he was on a wait list for testing. He proceeds to tell me about his nephew who is suspected to have Autism and about how hard it must be. He tells me how his nephew does not show emotion or want anything to do with others. He tells me that how Miles is acting reminds him of his nephew....
Thanks guy... I guess...
Still waiting and some days I think that is what they are going to say. Other days I think that idea is far away. Either way he is my sweet boy and I would not change anything about him. I just want to help him be his best... as I do with any child.
Here is my problems though, I don't want the general public to give my child the diagnosis of Autism. If specialists, doctors, therapists, and the likes give him one for treatment purpose I am fine with that. If the school needs a diagnosis for IEP and school help they can have it. At home he does not need that. out in public (at least now) he does not need that.
Acceptable home labels: Miles, "My-my", Monkey, stinker, cutie pie, little boy, child, and his astrological sign in Aries.
Today I had a guy at the Chilson (in the hot tub) ask me if Miles was Autistic. I don't mind the asking, I just told him he was on a wait list for testing. He proceeds to tell me about his nephew who is suspected to have Autism and about how hard it must be. He tells me how his nephew does not show emotion or want anything to do with others. He tells me that how Miles is acting reminds him of his nephew....
Thanks guy... I guess...
Still waiting and some days I think that is what they are going to say. Other days I think that idea is far away. Either way he is my sweet boy and I would not change anything about him. I just want to help him be his best... as I do with any child.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
My baby will be 4!
In a few days my 'baby' will be 4-years-old. It is hard to imagine and yet easy to remember how little he used to be. I have seen so much developmental growth in him the last few weeks. I have seen him do many things I have never seen him do and it makes him seem more like a 'normal' kid.
Normal. That is the thing. I think about the term 'typical development' often because the term is often used when conversation is about Miles... more like the fact that he does not have typical development compared to his peers. I often wonder if his delay was not in speech and communication if his quirks and other things he does would go unnoticed. Since communication is important to us as a human race it marks Miles as odd in a way. Since he is now marked as such all parts of his development is followed closely as well. I don't really mind since I know the monitors mean well and they want Miles to be the best Miles he can be. I still wonder sometimes.
My point is this: Miles has some sensory needs. His sensory needs are met by putting things in his mouth. Because he has this need there is concern about oral sensory needs, Miles perhaps has Autism. I as his mother do not see a problem with his sesory needs... as a child I liked to chew on my barbies and ponies and put the baby doll bottles in my mouth. I chewed on my pencils and pens and even ate my erasers.... but either no one noticed because I did not have 'problems' no one cared. Miles likes to chew rubbery toys the best and I know sometimes his knows better because I appear and his takes a toy car tire out of his mouth and hands it to me like I caught him. Avery also chews on things and no one seems to care.
I spend a lot of time at the preschool in both boys' classes. Avery is the oldest kid in his class of 15 students and Miles is the youngest of his class of 4. The boys are 17 months apart and all but 1 of the children in both classes combined have their birthdays between my kids' birthdays. All children are different, however I do find myself comparing children, and sometimes I am glad that Miles' problems are not like some of the other kids. Sometimes it is also nice to see that Miles seems to be just like some of the other kids as well.
Miles may not have a verbal conversation with me, but he is a better listener than Avery by far. When Avery was 4 and he started walking away from me and I told him to come back to where I was, I would have to get 'angry' before he would come back. I have to tell Miles once or twice and he comes back. He does not listen when I tell him not to climb up on things... but to me that makes him a normal kid. Miles is a good sharer, he will not take a toy from you, he will make a trade for a toy he wants, wait his turn, and give you a toy. He is generally happy, curious, observer and friendly.
I would not ask for anything different.
Normal. That is the thing. I think about the term 'typical development' often because the term is often used when conversation is about Miles... more like the fact that he does not have typical development compared to his peers. I often wonder if his delay was not in speech and communication if his quirks and other things he does would go unnoticed. Since communication is important to us as a human race it marks Miles as odd in a way. Since he is now marked as such all parts of his development is followed closely as well. I don't really mind since I know the monitors mean well and they want Miles to be the best Miles he can be. I still wonder sometimes.
My point is this: Miles has some sensory needs. His sensory needs are met by putting things in his mouth. Because he has this need there is concern about oral sensory needs, Miles perhaps has Autism. I as his mother do not see a problem with his sesory needs... as a child I liked to chew on my barbies and ponies and put the baby doll bottles in my mouth. I chewed on my pencils and pens and even ate my erasers.... but either no one noticed because I did not have 'problems' no one cared. Miles likes to chew rubbery toys the best and I know sometimes his knows better because I appear and his takes a toy car tire out of his mouth and hands it to me like I caught him. Avery also chews on things and no one seems to care.
I spend a lot of time at the preschool in both boys' classes. Avery is the oldest kid in his class of 15 students and Miles is the youngest of his class of 4. The boys are 17 months apart and all but 1 of the children in both classes combined have their birthdays between my kids' birthdays. All children are different, however I do find myself comparing children, and sometimes I am glad that Miles' problems are not like some of the other kids. Sometimes it is also nice to see that Miles seems to be just like some of the other kids as well.
Miles may not have a verbal conversation with me, but he is a better listener than Avery by far. When Avery was 4 and he started walking away from me and I told him to come back to where I was, I would have to get 'angry' before he would come back. I have to tell Miles once or twice and he comes back. He does not listen when I tell him not to climb up on things... but to me that makes him a normal kid. Miles is a good sharer, he will not take a toy from you, he will make a trade for a toy he wants, wait his turn, and give you a toy. He is generally happy, curious, observer and friendly.
I would not ask for anything different.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Monday, December 17, 2012
Giving Tree
I am not sure when it had started, but as long as I can remember, my family took names from the giving tree at the store. All I know is that I asked my mom what the tree was and I could not fathom that there were children who did not get presents for Christmas. I know I asked my mom if I could pick a name and when she told me we could not afford to buy extra presents I offered to give a girl my age one of my presents. So that is what we did every year, my brothers and I would give up a present to a child around our same age.
When I started making my own money I started picking a name and buying gifts for the kids on the tree. On good years I could pick two names and working at King Soopers I could just pick a name from the store tree after I got off work one night.
A few years ago before I had kids of my own I was able to pick two names. I picked a 14-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy. I bought the boy some play-doh, toy cars and package the included a small football, basketball and soccer ball. I remember like every other time I brought the gifts to store how wonderful I felt.
Some time between when I had turned the gifts in and Christmas I was waiting for my bus stop outside of my work. (Any more I can't remember where I was headed, school probably.) As I walked up to the bus stop I saw it... MY wrapping paper... in the shape of the gift I had wrapped! A 5-year-old boy was at the bus stop with his mom and grandma.
"Can I open it now... please?" he asked his mom.
"Yes, yes!" I was screaming in my head.
"Ok you can open the small package on top" she finally said.
"CARS! My favorite!" he said. Eventually while waiting for the bus she let him open the whole gift. "Thanks whoever got this for me" he said.
"You're welcome!" I said in my head. I can't believe I got to see him open it. I was so close to crying.
When I started making my own money I started picking a name and buying gifts for the kids on the tree. On good years I could pick two names and working at King Soopers I could just pick a name from the store tree after I got off work one night.
A few years ago before I had kids of my own I was able to pick two names. I picked a 14-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy. I bought the boy some play-doh, toy cars and package the included a small football, basketball and soccer ball. I remember like every other time I brought the gifts to store how wonderful I felt.
Some time between when I had turned the gifts in and Christmas I was waiting for my bus stop outside of my work. (Any more I can't remember where I was headed, school probably.) As I walked up to the bus stop I saw it... MY wrapping paper... in the shape of the gift I had wrapped! A 5-year-old boy was at the bus stop with his mom and grandma.
"Can I open it now... please?" he asked his mom.
"Yes, yes!" I was screaming in my head.
"Ok you can open the small package on top" she finally said.
"CARS! My favorite!" he said. Eventually while waiting for the bus she let him open the whole gift. "Thanks whoever got this for me" he said.
"You're welcome!" I said in my head. I can't believe I got to see him open it. I was so close to crying.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)