From the archives!

I found this blog post on my facebook page. I thought it was funny. The title is Last Day of 2009.

 LAST DAY OF 2009

 On the last day of 2009, I find myself awake in Avery's twin bed with Miles poking my face. The dance of musical beds. Miles ends up in bed with us, then Avery... Avery kicks me out and squishes Miles, so Miles and I move to Avery's bed.

Soon after I wake up a diaperless toddler comes running in followed by a groggy husband that heads straight for the diaper box. As soon as I get up out of bed Avery starts saying "cochet cochet, yum yum" witch translates into chocolate chocolate, yum yum. Who does he think I am, chocolate for breakfast... ok so it worked one day last week when he learned being cute and saying chocolate meant his momma would give in. Sorry little boy no chocolate in the house, you ate it all. So he resorts to grabbing the Tigger PEZ dispenser his grandpa gave him for Christmas. "PEZ, PEZ!" Sorry kid you ate all the PEZ too, eat some cereal.

Later we get ready and go to the store. On the way to the car I have my hands full. I am trying to stop the toddler from eating the snow that someone finally sprinkled a blue icemelt on and trying not to drop the baby who also wants to play in the snow. Finally they are both in the car yippy.

Once at the store people politely offer me their cart as I walk through the parking lot... thanks but no thanks, I need the cart with the car in the front and the seat up top. While in the store a different situation people pushing through the isles like they are the only ones in the store and such. But I am happy that every child I hear crying through out the store is neither one of mine.... thank you very much.

All done at the store, leaving the parking lot on to a one way street... OH S*** LOOK OUT MORON YOU ARE GOING THE WRONG WAY!!! No not me, some moron heading straight for me, I honk at him and stop and he waves at me and turns into the parking lot he came from, great!

At home both kids are sleeping in the car. Trip one: grab Miles, the box of wipes and one bag. Transfer sleeping Miles to crib. Trip two: grab Avery. Transfer sleeping Aver to bed. Trip three: grab three bags. Trip four grab the last two bags. (the bags are reusable canvas and packed full) Each trip has 20 + 3 + 14 steps, so 37 steps times 4 trips....

The kids stay asleep for me to put the groceries away... Miles is up but goes back to sleep after a snack... but both kids are up to interrupt Momma's soaps.

That's it so far.

Happy New Year

Part 5 of accdent recovery

After Andrew started talking a lot of things changed.  Up until then we had no idea what if any damage the stroke had caused.  The good new was that for sure without a doubt Andrew was awake and functioning.

In the beginning of this new stage Andrew often got confused. When asked how old he was he would say he was 23.  Then they would ask him when he was born, January 3rd 1980 (the right answer).  Then they would tell him it was 2010 and re-ask his age and he would still say he was 23.  He knew Avery and Miles were his childrens' names but would say he had 4 children.  He gave his dad's home address when asked what his home address was.

Sometimes he was searching for words. However, we were usually impressed at what he would come up with as a replacement.  For example Andrew wanted  his dad to shut the window shades and said "Can you help me with my outdoor illumination?"  

Next step was to get into Craig Hospital.  We found a giant hurdle.  Even though Andrew was mental ready for Craig Hospital his body was not.  His muscle tone was so tight he could barely move even with physical therapy.  This was because of the stroke.  The doctors increased a muscle relaxer called Baclofen and that seemed to help with the muscle tone.  Andrew's doctor discussed the possibility of a Baclofen pump.  This pump would be inserted into his abdomen and the medication would be delivered into his spine.  This way the medication would not have to travel through the blood stream when he would take it orally.  

Andrew decided to go for it.  The first steps of this process were horrible.  University Hospital was going to do the surgery and there was some miscommunication with Kindred.  University told Kindred that Andrew should not have any Balcofen in his system so they could do a test to see if the pump would work.  Instead of stepping the dose down slowly they took Andrew off the medication all at once.  They did not inform us that they were going to do this.  It was horrible, Andrew going through withdrawl.  He was hallucinating and getting angry that we did not believe him.  We were so angry when we learned why he was this way.  

The good new was the test showed Andrew was a good candidate for the pump.  He was back on the medication and we waited for the the surgery.  Finally in October the pump was in, the surgery healed and Andrew was on his way to Craig Hospital.  Memory was improving even though is was not perfect.  Things were getting there.

 Day 113 after accident (Location Kindred)

    Family visit - 1-year-old Miles sleeping on Daddy's bed.  (September 10, 2010)

 Almost 3-year-old Avery visiting with Daddy (above) and again sleeping Miles (below) September 30, 2010

Part 4 Andrew's recovery after accident

When the social worker at University Hospital had told me that Andrew was stable enough to move out of the ICU he had only been there 2 weeks.  I was really confused as to why we were moving him out of the hospital, however I was happy to know he was stable.

The social worker told me to look at Kindred Hospital.  She told me I could look other places if I wanted to, but Kindred was the best.  I took my in-laws with me and we went to Kindred.  The facility was older than University Hospital but I felt good about the move so we said ok.  It was now July.

My mom and I took the kids to the hospital to see Andrew.  Miles was sleeping, Avery was running around but Andrew was watching him.  Avery had his stuffed Ponyo toy.  Ponyo is a sweet movie if you have not seen it.  We think it brought Avery some comfort,  Ponyo is a magic fish and she has magical healing powers.  I had explained to Avery that his daddy was really hurt and was away to get better, and we think he brought Ponyo along for that reason.  The kids would come with me every now and again.  Kindred was called "Daddy's house." 


Then there was the day that I lost it.... the social worker at Kindred came to see me while I was visiting Andrew.  She had told me that they felt he was no longer improving and they wanted to move him to a new facility, a Skilled Nursing Facility.  This was in August now and exactly 3 months since the accident.  She said I needed to find one right away because they wanted to move him the very next week.  After she left the room I could help but cry hysterically, right in front of Andrew.  "I need you to get better."  I cried.  We knew he was understanding us and trying to communicate but they did not seem to see it.  They were not satisfied with his ability to nod to answer "yes".

Two days later my in-laws and I were scheduled to tour a SNF.   Deak, Andrew's dad, and I both stopped by Kindred first.  A nurse named Noelle came in to the room and surprised us by asking "Does he talk your ear off?"  He started to tell her that we have not heard him talk since before the accident.  "Oh he can talk," she said, "he can say 'hi'.  Say 'hi'  Andrew."

"Hi Noelle." he said.  Even Noelle was going to cry, he remembered her name.  He said even more, but we had to leave for our appointment to view the SNF.  We saw it and did not like it but that was ok we were now excited.  I had return home to the kids but I received a call from my mother-in-law telling me I needed to bring the kids and come back to Kindred.  As soon as I walked in the room the first thing Andrew said to me was "I love you." I am still crying about this one.

Andrew later told me that he thought he was talking to us the whole time, he did not know we could not hear him or that he was not talking.

 * 90 days after the accident while at Kindred.  This was before Andrew started talking.  I had just given him a hair cut.  This was also the first picture I took of him after the accident.

Part 3 - Andrew's accident.

Sorry I have not gotten around to posting the next part of this story.  I also apologize if I repeat anything I have already written or even leave out detail.  Another disclaimer, I don't reread before I post so please look past my typos and such.

So much happened and yet not much happened in this part of the story.  Andrew was still in a coma and the hospital was working on stabilizing his vital signs, his cranial pressure and his lungs. 

It seemed like months already but the cranial pressure monitor was finally removed 2 weeks later.  The next day they were able to do the tracheostomy and feeding tube and finally an MRI 2 over two weeks after the stroke.

One day before one month since the accident Andrew finally got surgery on his right femur.  The next day was supposed to be surgery on the left femur, however they found infection in the hip from the initial surgery a month before.  So the day was spent cleaning out the infection and the surgery was moved to 6/15.  After the surgery Andrew was now stable enough to move to University Hospital ICU and out of Denver Health SICU (surgical ICU). The move was due to insurance.  Most of us were happy about the move... it was something new... it meant he was recovering, he was near more people who could support him, he worked for University Hospital.  I had happy memories of University, both boys were born there.   

My worst memory of Denver Health was after Andrew was no longer a patient.  We had a finally meeting with Doctors who had treated him.  My mother-in-law was having a difficult time handling and processing all the had happened... I mean this was her 'baby' and I think we all get that.  At this meeting she asked "I want you to be honest, do you think he will recover?"  Most doctors gave an honest answer, they thought he would recover and be ok, but they had no way of knowing how much recovery.  What I am getting to though I could not believe, one woman looked directly into his mothers face and said. "If he recovers, he will never recover to the cognitive function he was before.  He may be a 'vegetable' for the rest of his life."  You don't say that to a fragile woman, to a fragile family.  I agreed with the others in the room... "we don't know, hope for the best, he has age and intelligence on his side."


Once stable at University Hospital the doctors took the sedation off. Slowly Andrew emerged from his coma.  Some of us could see his was there.  His eyes seemed to show expression even though the rest of him could not seem to move.  He also started to show signs of 'storming'  (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14998101) and we were told even though it looked bad it was a good sign.  This meant his brain was trying to heal.

I got to spend the whole day of our 7 year wedding anniversary at the hospital.  It was one of the best days so far during recovery.  I came in the room and had to walk in front of the bed and across the room to set my stuff down.  Andrew's head moved and he followed me as I moved across the room.  What an improvement.

After 41 days total in the ICU (DENVER HEALTH and UCH combined) Andrew was off the ventilator and stable enough to move facilities once again.  Next stop was Kindred Hospital.     

Andrew's accident pt 2.

After shock had set in, we finally started wondering what had happened.  Family members called to talk with the police officer that had called me on the day of the accident.  At the time he could only give us a little information because they were going to have to investigate... no witnesses.  He said he would let us know when the police report was finished and when we could come pick it up.  All he could tell us at that point was the accident was a head-on collision, the other vehicle was a Jeep Commander and where they towed the car.

I went with my dad to look at the car and retrieve items from it and also take pictures.  Many people were worried about me seeing the car, but I had too.  I had to see what the car looked like, why was Andrew hurt so badly?  I am debating about posting a picture of the car on here so after you read what happened you can show it to people who might need to see it.

The day I went to get the police report...  I was so angry that day, and the crazy thing about that was we did not have all the information then either.  First page gave me the name, date of birth, insurance, car type, ect. for the other driver along with the same for Andrew.  The other car was then called vehicle 1 and Andrew's vehicle 2.     The second page read:  Driver of  vehicle 1 stated that he 'was looking down at an address and he must have crossed the center line and hit'  vehicle 2.

LOOKING FOR AN ADDRESS!!!!! Later during the other drivers trial he also admitted to being on the phone, a business call, while on his way to a client meeting.  There is also strong speculation that the driver was speeding too.  The accident was on a frontage road next to I-270, a very curvy road.  The accident was right on a curve.  No one had seen it happen but some drivers who were approaching on I-270 saw debris flying in the air, pulled over and helped at the scene... a nurse and a former EMT.

Andrew does not remember what he was doing on the road that day.  We can only piece it together.  Our bank statement shows he got some lunch, and his work badge was at home. So maybe he was going to get his badge.


Sorry now I will backtrack a little.  Five days after the accident (May 16) was my graduation from Metro State.  I cancelled my party but decided to walk at graduation anyway.  I was thinking about not walking months before and Andrew said I had to and would regret no doing it... so then I felt I had to walk still.  I called to check up on Andrew in the morning and everything was the same, stable but still not enough.

I had my phone on me just in case, and I needed it.  People were walking on stage to get their diploma and my phone rings.  "Shawna, a nurse noticed that one of Andrew's pupils was dilated larger than the other.  We took him for a CT and he has possibly had a stroke and there is fluid on his brain.  We are calling to get verbal permission to place a monitoring device in his skull."  Soon after I was called up for my diploma.

At the hospital we learned that Andrew had suffered some mini strokes.  The strokes were caused from fat cells that got into the bloodstream.  The fat cells escaped from the breaks in femurs (long bones have fat cells).  Usually if that were to happen the lungs filter out the fat, and since Andrew's lings were so badly damaged they could not do the job and the cells went to the brain.  If you want to do more research look up the term 'fat emboli'.

So now I am in the part of the story where we are waiting for Andrew cranial pressure to stay normal.  The hospital staff can not lay him flat for long periods of time or his pressure would go up.  They still can not do the remaining operations on his legs because of his lungs and now the cranial pressure and not being able to lay him flat. Also because they can not lay him flat he also can not get a feeding tube into his stomach or have a tracheostomy so the breathing tubes are not continued to be shoved down his mouth.

It happened in 2010 pt. 1

2010 was going to be a great year.  January 3rd Andrew turned 30, I was finally completing my student teaching and was going to graduate in May and our two beautiful children were happy and healthy.  In March Miles had his 1st Birthday, and then there was Easter and Mother's Day.  I look at the pictures from Mother's Day and reminisce about how this were at that very moment.  The innocent happy faces of my children, Miles riding on top of his daddy's shoulders, Avery lounging in Grandma's chair.

I also strangely remember that morning, Tuesday May 11 that is.  The morning was kind of cloudy and only cold enough to have on a light sweater.  My mom had driven from Fort Collins to Denver to watch the kids for the day.  Andrew and I left the house together, said "have a good day" and got in our cars, Andrew went to work and I went to the elementary school where I was student teaching.  I finished teaching my science lesson after math.  Then it was lunch I had checked my phone several time while I was on lunch then put it away.  I felt the need to look at my phone one more time 5 minutes before the kids were to come back from lunch and I had a message.

I checked voice mail and it was a call from a Commerce City police officer telling me to call him back.  My first thought was something happened with my mom and or the kids.  Our home was not in Commerce City but it was close enough.  When I returned the call the officer told me Andrew had been in an accident.  He proceeded to tell me that they took him to Denver Health for x-rays and I should go there.  I excused myself at school and headed to the hospital.

On my way to the hospital my phone rings, stupidly I answer it.  It was Denver Health.  The woman on the phone tells me where to go and says the Andrew has a broken leg.  I get to the ER and they have a hospital councilor meet me and she took me to a room.  The councilor then tells me BOTH of his legs are broken and he might need surgery to fix one or both.  She asked me if I had any questions and I said "Yeah, how do I get him home, we live in a third story walk up.  If both legs are broken how do I get him upstairs?"  Her reply was "There will be people to work that out with you."  At that point I should have known that she was withholding information.

I had called his parents and my parents to let them know what was going on.  His parents and his brother joined me in the waiting room at Denver Health.  They had taken him into surgery.  A person from surgery came to tell us they had to medically place Andrew into a coma because his injuries were so bad.  They were not able to do all the surgeries they needed to and his injuries were too extensive to keep him awake.  This person was shocked that we did not know the list of injuries yet.

Later that night we learned:  Two broken femurs, the left was broken in two places one of those being right near the ball of the femur at the hip, 7 broken ribs, fractured nose and a fracture at the elbow.  Also he had bruising of the lungs and later that night his lungs had collapsed.  The medical staff had to flip him on his stomach to help save his life but in the process the flip itself could have killed him.  They also had to later flip him back over on his back and that could have killed him too.  He looked so different laying there on the hospital bed, all bloated with fluid and banged up.  His lungs were so bad the hospital had to focus on his lungs healing before they could continue the surgeries on his legs.  This meant he was still going to be in a medial coma, and tubes were now draining fluid from his lungs. All we could do was wait.

SLEEP?

I am starting to think that not sleeping is really part of a mother's job. Lately my lack of sleep has seemed to increase, partly due to time change (daylight savings), children, cat, snoring husband and my tendency to be a light sleeper.

Five years ago I was pregnant with my first child Avery.  I worked at the grocery store, was going to school and my body was helping a baby grow... I was tired... I slept A LOT.  I mean I would fall asleep on the couch and not just at home in the student lounges at school between class.  I had to fight to stay awake just to do homework.  Then of course Avery was born and my sleep schedule was all over the place.  Avery was a pretty sleepy baby so I got naps with him while I could. 

My husband Andrew loved being a new father.  He wanted our sweet baby boy to sleep in our bed with us. What is the harm in that? I enjoyed it too because it also helped make night feedings easier and I did not have to go far to know he needed a new diaper.  Then when he got bigger we would put him in his crib and then when he would wake up I just brought him to bed.  Around 10 months old he was mobile and with that came independence and with that came not going to sleep until we did... which meant bringing him to bed with us.

When Miles was born Avery was 17-months-old still sleeping in our bed.  We had the small cradle in our room and Miles slept in that comfortable as long as he was swaddled tightly.  However soon I found myself bringing him to bed too.  All of us in a queen sized bed.

After Andrew's accident the dynamics changed again.  Avery was used to his daddy being the side guard from rolling off the bed.  The first month Andrew was gone I think Avery rolled out of bed every night. Eventually he learned how to make sure not to let Miles roll off... he became the guard.  My babies then were 2 1/2 and 1-year-old.  I needed them close to me to make sure the were ok and for my own comfort.  Sometimes family would take the boys overnight so I could 'get a break', but unless I was truly exhausted I could not sleep in the empty bed.

Andrew was gone for almost a year.  I had never worked on getting the kids in their own bed... and they were not going to give that up.  I also think to Avery he now enjoyed not being the guard anymore.


TBC ---- come back later and I will finish