In 5 days it will be 6 years since Andrew's accident. Around this time of year I always have waves of mixed emotions. Remembering bits and pieces if that time, when it happened and all the progress and rehabilitation. Thinking of how things are today and what things could have happened v.s. what has happened.
I had actually wanted to write this post in March but I was very busy. I wanted to write this in March because March was TBI Awareness Month.
Five days after Andrew had been hit head-on by a distracted driver he was still in a medically induced coma. Five days after the accident I was graduating from college. I only 'walked' because when I debated whether I was going to he told me I needed to, that I had worked hard to finish.
While listening to graduation speeches my phone rang. I knew it was the hospital so I answered. A nurse has noticed something funny with Andrew's eye so they took him for a CT scan. He had fluid on the brain and had many little mini strokes. They were asking my permission to place a monitor in his head to watch the fluid.
The CT showed mini strokes caused by fat embolisms and also some trauma from the accident. There was no way to know how this damage would affect him if and when he would wake up. He was very slow to wake from the coma. We were told his outcome didn't look good many times starting with he may never come to or he may need long term care. In fact the day he 'woke up' his parents and I had an appointment to look at a long-term care facility.
When he first woke his short term memory was horrible and long term memory was gapped and jumbled. He still was hospitalized could not get out of bed, feed himself, walk, and do self care. With therapies and medical intervention ( and tremendous will power) he has proven most predictions wrong.
Fast forward to today. This is why I even want to write. Andrew's recovery is remarkable beyond what we were told to expect. Many people meeting him the 1st 2nd or more might not even realize he has a brain injury. His brain did a great rewiring. He is very close to who is was before the accident..... but he is not.....
More and more lately the 'what he was and now is' has been getting to me. I see it a lot; with strangers and acquaintances. His brain takes longer to process. Longer to take in information and longer to get his thoughts out. People don't have the patience to wait for him, people are rude and only because is is a little slower. He is not slow enough for people to realize what is going on and just slow enough to annoy them in their fast paced world.
I have been thinking about this after several comments about how much patience I have with him. Most the time I am patience is something I am good at. But to be honest I am not always this way. I have to try really hard with him. Often times he still doesn't remember thing, things Ihave said, things he has already toltold me. Many times I get annoyed and even a little pissed that he forgot what I said. I have to remind myself that he was most likely listening but doesn't remember and sometimes it is the 3rd time I have told him.
His brain injury also has trained him to do things in specific ways, to find what works for him over and over. People that don't understand think what not does is ridiculous. They don't understand.
I guess there is good and bad things about how well he has recovered.
I leave this long post reminding you not to be on your phone while driving. It is not worth it.
